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megan-yoga

Namast’ay in Recovery

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megan-yogai truly used to believe that if everyday i ran one more mile than the last, then maybe my mom would love me. exercise was such an essential part in my eating disorder’s survival, and so once i realized the death grip it had on me, i knew i had to break free.

i was addicted to exercise, and after i admitted that to myself, abstinence was the next step. this was hands down the most difficult part of my recovery. not only did i have to increase my intake, but i no longer had my vice of the gym to compensate for it. i was physically uncomfortable and mentally trapped; all of the emotions that my eating disorder protected me from and helped me avoid, were staring at me head on.

and i stared right back. i had (and still have!) and incredible therapist who taught me how to trust again and ultimately made facing those feelings a bit less daunting. yes, i still get overwhelmed by my emotions and memories from time to time, but this was the ‘easier’ (i use this term lightly!) part of my recovery.

what i struggled with the most was the physiology of recovery. i had taken my body to hell and back with my eating disorder, and so healing from that toll felt equally as taxing. the body changes. the uncomfortable fullness. the process of relearning hunger cues. i was exhausted and conflicted.

being a dancer, movement and exercise were an integral part of my life. and so when i was at that point of being physically incapacitated, i felt like a part of me was missing.

fast forward a about 15 months and i was finally at a place physically, emotionally, and behaviorally where i believed that i could welcome exercise back into my life. but this time around, exercise looked and felt much different! i no longer wanted to use excessive gym time to avoid trauma and stress, instead i just wanted to feel connected with my body again.

recovery gave me a second chance. recovery gave me a fresh start. recovery gave me a new body; one that i no longer recognized, but one that i wanted to love. so with the guidance of my therapist, i began the practice of meeting and embracing my body through yoga. my mat was the foundation to which i started feeling at home in my body. the inexplicably wonderful combination of focused attention, mindful breathing, and physical movement, taught me how powerful the connection between my mind and body actually was. it was with this newfound knowledge that i began to appreciate my body for what it can do and not for what it looks like. this knowledge was power.

from there on out, i had the power over my eating disorder. what ultimately kept me so far from recovery, ended up leading me right into its arms. finding yoga made me realize how disconnected i was with my body while i was in my eating disorder. using my breath and mindfully attending to all of the changes that recovery brought to my life went far beyond perfecting the flawless controlled sirsasana. this new approach to exercise and connection with my body made working through the physiology of recovery possible and continues to make maintaining recovery one of the greatest reasons to get up in the morning. i am grateful that i have learned to use movement to pay homage to my body. and am even more grateful that i no longer function on the belief that my worth is conditional upon my physicality.

Gaga for Gaga

ANAD is Gaga for Gaga

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A week ago, today, Lady Gaga was scrutinized for her appearance as she performed the Super Bowl Halftime Show, so let’s start this week appreciating her for all that she does and NOT for what her body looks like.  ANAD compiled a list from online sources in order to show a portrait of Lady Gaga that is based on WHO she is, NOT what she looks like. 

gaga-for-gaga

 

Lady Gaga Drawing by: Megan Schomaker

Sources pulled from:

Crazy Facts About Lady Gaga

http://www.boomsbeat.com/articles/158/20140130/50-interesting-facts-about-lady-gaga.htm

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_awards_and_nominations_received_by_Lady_Gaga

http://www.billboard.com/articles/columns/pop/7311526/lady-gaga-accomplishments-30-birthday

To Honor Lady Gaga on Her 30th Birthday, a List of Her 30 Greatest Accomplishments

http://www.celebrityfunfacts.com/lady-gaga/f56z89/http://www.nme.com/photos/50-incredibly-geeky-facts-about-lady-gaga-1415079

 

 

tumblr_nhu9gvao3m1qgr4nbo1_250

To the Girls Sitting Next to Me At Panera

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tumblr_nhu9gvao3m1qgr4nbo1_250

Image credit: http://weheartit.com/entry/180242450

half of my heart broke when you grabbed my attention with the words “look at her, she’s perfect”. the other half continued to crumble as you followed that up with “i’m done eating, i could literally die, her body is ‘goals’.”.

every bone in me wanted to stand up, break every imaginable social norm, and give each one of you a hug. i saw my 15 year old self and 11 year old cousin in your eyes and wished with everything in me that instagram would crash every time you opened it up to idolize another.

stop punishing yourself. stop believing anyone who convinced you that you’re not perfect just the way you are. yes, with your sweatpants on and with half a loaf of bread in your hand, you are perfect. just stop and look. look at each other when you talk. not at a screen. look at your friends for maybe you will start to see the incredible reflection of yourself that surely resides in their eyes. please look and listen. listen to anyone who believes that your personhood is not in the least bit reliant on your physicality. listen to me when i say that looks cannot kill, but obsessing over changing yours, can. listen to me when when i say that girl whom you have deemed as “perfect” is probably looking at your page thinking the same thing about you. listen to me when i say, you will be much happier once you start to love yourself unconditionally and without comparison.

Please, for the love of god, please listen to me when i say you do not need to change, and for as long as you are happy, you have won.

 

recovery tshirt

Ask Me About My Eating Disorder. No Really. Ask Me!

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“Secrets secrets are no fun; secrets secrets hurt someone.” This could not be anymore true when it comes to eating disorders. These pesky persistent disorders convince anyone they touch that their secret is best kept from the world. I know what it was like to have that dirty little secret. And though that secret may have helped me through some of the hardest times in my life, that secret could very well have ended it. I thank the universe every single day for the bravery I had to spill my secret and ask for help.

But as a counselor, advocate, and empath, I know firsthand that there are still so many people holding onto that secret. Yes, that eating disorder may make you feel forced into keeping its secret, but in my eyes, society isn’t necessarily doing much to convince those who are struggling to share it.  

recovery tshirtI wore my #RecoveryTee for the first time today and within a matter of 10 short hours, I witnessed the beginnings of change. I had friends, family, and complete strangers ask me what my shirt meant. I wore my recovery proud, answered endless questions, and with each ho
nest conversation I had with someone, the shame, secrecy, and stigma of eating disorders began to dissipate. I even posted this picture to my personal social media platforms and encouraged my friends and followers to ask me about my eating disorder!

Mental health in general carries an enormous stigma, and once combined with the unfortunate societal lack of eating disorder awareness and education, a perfect storm for that secret
to take over is created. Sharing my story was key to my recovery and getting me to the place of strength and resilience I am at today.

Not only that, but just seeing that my #RecoveryTee helped one individual as they faced a rough day in recovery, whrecovery tshirtich not only plastered a massive smile on my face, but just further validated why I fight so hard for people to realize that recovery is worth the fight! So join me in this battle! Ask questions. Share your story. Make a loved one who is struggling feel comfortable with confiding in you. Together, we can scare those secrets away and win the fight over eating disorders!

 

 

fight-recover

Target Should Sell this T-Shirt: Fight. Recover. Repeat.

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We all knowbinge-tee how it goes, you walk into your local Target for “one thing” and within the first five minutes of walking through those beautiful red doors of happiness, you have already hit up the dollar section, looked at every single greeting card they sell, and are now being sucked into the clothing department. Come on, who can resist clearance prices? Not me!

So recently I was on my weekly trip to the retail wonderland that is Target and ran into the shirt pictured below. “BINGE SLEEP REPEAT”. Now being in recovery from my own eating disorder and having struggled with binging and purging behaviors for years, I was deeply offended by what I was seeing. If it had been 5 years ago, seeing a message like that being advertised would have done nothing but validated my nagging eating disorder voice and made recovery that much more difficult.

I am lucky enough to be in a strong point in my own recovery to where seeing that shirt infuriated me rather than triggered me. But I worry about those in recovery or the loved one’s of those in recovery seeing this shirt and having their struggles being objectified, minimized, and sold as trendy and profitable. And as I said in my post below, I do not care what the intentions behind the shirt were. (Quick shoutout to all those people who told me to “calm down” or “it’s just referring to binging on TV shows.”)  The light-hearted nature in which this message is being presented is deplorable. I will not “calm down,” nor stop until the ignorance of eating disorders within our society is diminished. Luckily, enough people were upset about this shirt and Target ended up removing it from in store and online sales, but still we have a long fight ahead of us if we never want to see something like this on our shelves again. I posted my thoughts on this t-shirt to my own Facebook page.

I’m in the fight for the long haul, who’s with me?

 

 

 

 

 

Words are a Powerful Thing

Words are a Powerful Thing: Recovered vs Recovery

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Words are a Powerful ThingWords are a powerful thing. They can help raise someone up to their highest potential or they can tear someone to six feet under. Sometimes the words we use are intentional, while at other times we don’t realize they can be a powerful trigger and cause negative feelings and thoughts to surface. For those who have been through treatment we have been taught to release the noose type grip we allow words to have over us and to find healthier and more positive words or affirmations to replace them with. We have spent years beating ourselves up and convincing our minds that we are not worthy, not lovable, not thin enough and not good enough; so, this re-programming process takes time and patience. Habits are hard to break, and even though we may take positive steps forward that little gremlin inside of us is always looming close ready to catch us at a vulnerable moment and swallow us whole again.

Recovery is a never-ending process that takes work each and every day. Because of what we have endured, we are now forever changed and the world is no longer just black and white, but every color in between. We are not broken. We are unique, and because of this uniqueness we feel more deeply, see things most people would overlook and have an appreciation for life that allows us to be thankful for every day we get to open our eyes.

I don’t believe that I am recovered or will ever be recovered. Because to me, to be recovereD (with a hard D) means that I will never again have to worry about being triggered by myself, someone or something that causes me to turn inwards and tear myself into a million pieces. That I will never lose control of my emotions again and use food as a tool to cope and stuff myself until I want to puke but won’t because I think I deserve to sit with my self inflicted pain like an old friend. That I won’t ever look at myself in the mirror again and hate what I see and convince myself that I am not good enough, so the only way to be good enough is if I’m at a certain size…a size I will never achieve.

RecovereD is final. RecovereD means no more worries or fears or anxiety over the what if. To me, recovereD means our work here is done, but the work is never done. Everyday we are faced with new challenges or situations that will test us and force us to keep practicing the tools we have been taught, all the while continuing to learn more about ourselves and realizing the unconditional love we deserve. The addiction never leaves you, but instead lives inside you as a constant reminder of your struggles. It resides right next to the strength you have gained through your fight and the compassion you have grown to know you deserve.

I don’t believe one word should be allowed to hold so much power over us and cause us to feel less than the person next to us who might be “recovered for 5 years,” while you just had a lapse a few weeks ago. We have already spent a lifetime comparing ourselves to others so why do we allow ourselves to keep doing this in recovery? Words no longer should control you and your life, but should instead inspire you and connect you with all those who are also working toward the same goal, which is to live a happy, full and healthy life.

In any AA meeting you attend, they always speak of their recovery in terms of days and they even give you a chip at every milestone. No one is better than the person next to them and no one’s recovery is more final and complete than the others. Everyone is equal and no one feels the pressure or shame if they had a relapse the night before because they know it is a natural part of going through the recovery process. You will fall and you will mess up, but at the end of the day as long as you keep showing up I believe you are successful. You chose to fight another day and you chose to not hide away in your shame because you are no longer recovereD.

I challenge everyone to rethink what they’ve been told about being recovered, and should instead look at it in terms of a never-ending story. With each new day being an opportunity to learn more about yourself and see just how strong and brave you truly are. You got up, showed up and chose to believe that this is not how your life is supposed to go. You chose to release the power behind a word and instead, chose to acknowledge that you are perfectly imperfect and your battle scars are the strength you need to keep fighting another day. You are a soldier fighting the battle that lives within you and the only person who can subdue it is you. So believe in your strength, believe in your worth and release the power behind the word.

My name is Victoria and I am recovering from a battle with anorexia and binge eating.

Today I am 8 years STRONG from my anorexia and I am 6 months STRONG from binge eating.

The battle lives within me but it will not destroy me.

This blog post was written by Victoria

 

Rogers memorial hospital

Patients and Providers Give Thanks for Life-Changing Treatment at Rogers

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In her mid-twenties, Denise began a pattern of binging and purging to return to her pre-baby weight. Over 15 years, her distorted body image led her to binge and purge up to 20 times a day. In her forties, depression set in and stole Denise’s appetite, causing her bulimia to morph into anorexia. Eventually her family’s concern for her well-being pushed her to seek treatment at Rogers Behavioral Health’s residential Eating Disorder Center in Oconomowoc, Wisconsin.

“Eating disorders have a way of tricking you,” says Denise. “In my mind, I actually thought my eating disorder was making me a strong person. In reality, it was making me very sick and very weak.” Even while in treatment, Denise wasn’t convinced she had a problem.

“In treatment, there are a fair number of people who aren’t certain they actually need it, or if they even want their eating disorder behaviors to end,” says Brad Smith, MD, medical director of eating disorder services for Rogers Behavioral Health. “Many times, binging, purging or restricting food relieves some of the anxiety in their lives, which can make it difficult to find motivation for change.”

“Similar to self-harm, drugs and alcohol, eating disorder behaviors are not healthy for people, but they become one of the ways, perhaps the only way, they know how to cope,” says Dr. Smith.

At Rogers, beginning the journey toward developing healthier, alternative methods for coping begins with a foundation of nutritional stability. “A healthy meal plan with good nutrition and hydration are pieces of the puzzle that make the rest of treatment work,” says Dr. Smith. “Then we help our patients realize they have the power to manage anxiety without unhealthy eating habits and can exchange them for alternatives, such as respiratory control, deep muscle relaxation exercises and leisure activities.”

Treatment helped Denise discover just how bright life can be, and gave her a renewed appreciation for the little moments. “I didn’t realize how valuable the little moments I was missing out on in life were to me while I was in treatment,” she says. “When I took everything I learned at Rogers and began using it, my life changed. Besides my family, treatment is second on my list of what I’m most thankful for because it gave me my life back. I don’t believe I’d be on this earth if it were not for my time at Rogers.”

Today Denise often returns to the Eating Disorder Center with other alumni to pay it forward. “Our alumni are here to mentor or simply lend an ear to those who are going through the more acute stages of their disorder,” says Dr. Smith. “ThRogers Memorial Hospitaley offer genuine accounts of their recovery process—discussing the real, challenging obstacles they’ve faced, as well as their triumphs—and give tangible hope.”

Denise was thankful for the opportunity treatment gave her to do some soul searching. “I’m learning to develop my own beliefs, be my own person and take care of myself,” she says. “My new relationship with my children is amazing, and we’re so supportive of each other. We talk openly when we’re having difficult times, and we focus on character, not physical appearances.”

Dr. Smith explains it’s a heartwarming experience when a patient expresses gratitude. “It’s not something we necessarily expect as treatment professionals, but it makes us feel great to know we have helped that person,” he says.

ANAD’s 2016 Conference was Our, to Quote an Attendee, “Best Program Yet!”

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Dr__Berrett_love2
As ANAD’s Current President and as along-term board member even before that, as soon as I saw the heart drawn next to our Keynote Speaker, Dr. Michael Berrett’s name on one of the conference CE Evaluation forms, I knew that this year, our conference had touched, not just minds, but hearts as well.
Dr. Michael Berrett, our keynote speaker, emotionally gave a message similar to ANAD’s new mantra: Your future is worth fighting for.  He meant this for clinicians who may struggle with burn out. He intimately shared his own honest experiences as a clinician and gave strategies to help us care for ourselves as we deeply as we care for our clients.
 Dr. Berrett inspired the audience with genuine concern, and because he wants to be a support to all of the clinicians in the audience, he gave everyone his cell phone number! He really practices what he preaches! The love from Dr. Berrett was felt by many, including the attendees who gave him these reviews:
“Thank you Dr. Berrett for your support, concern and inspiration for all”

“Spectacular keynote speaker, Michael Berrett. He really set the expectations for the conference. He kept the audience engaged and humbled.”

“Dr. Berrett was outstanding- wish he had time to go through all his slides. He could do a full day conference.”

“Michael Berrett was exceptional. Motivational, informative, and heartfelt. It was a gift to hear from someone so spiritually awake.”

Thank you Dr. Berrett for your support, concern and inspiration for all.

Dr. Kelly Klump was the plenary speaker, and she also served to truly motivate the group and keep our interest. Dr. Klump is one of the only researchers that I have seen who can take very complicated material, and keep it interesting and understandable! She presented some of her research on the genetic influences of eating disorders in girls, discovered from multiple twin studies. As she and colleagues continue to sdr berrett ANAD conferenceort out the differences between identical and fraternal twins during adolescence, they have been able to understand that getting an eating disorder has a strong genetic component, and the genes are “turned on” right at puberty! These new findings can help people better understand eating disorders, and how to treat and possibly medicate them.

We got wonderful feedback about Dr. Klump’s presentation as well:

From our conference attendees:

“I thoroughly enjoyed Kelly Klump’s presentation and found it to be very insightful. I also enjoyed learning about RODBT and think it will help me conceptualize and work with my clients. “

“Kelly Klump – Amazing speaker – made research interesting.”

Dr. Klump, than you for energizing us, and simplifying complex data to a way that we can use it and talk about it with our clients.

lindy westAnd Lindy West really captivated the crowd as our lunch speaker.  Lindy, as a writer and speaker, definitely had a way withwords during her presentation. She spoke from the heart, and found a way to explain how negative body image and fat shaming hurts and touches us all. She shared the story of how she personally dealt with shame about her body, and learned to fight for herself and others. She gave ways of helping each person learn how to love our bodies as well. Lindy, our attendees had so many great things to say about you at the end of the conference:

“Lindy as a speaker was fun and redefining. A wonderful variety of topics were represented. I’ll be back.”

“ Lindy West challenged all of us to see beyond stereotypes. Excellent.”IMG_3678

Lindy, we felt uplifted by your sharing and grateful for the tools you gave us to love our bodies, too. We will be passing these along to our clients as well.

I would also like to take this time to thank Deb Prinz, who spent many hours and days, and much heart and brain power to organize and plan the 2016 conference. And a special thank you to our interns and volunteers for all of your support for the conference.  We saw you guys work in such a caring and dedicated way.  Thank you.

Maria Rago, ANAD President

 

 


 

Deb and LindyAs ANAD’s Director of Community Relations, organizing the Annual Conference is one of my primary duties.  As I hit the “send” button I knew it was a long shot but I did it anyway. Would Lindy West, the American feminist writer and infamous “fat activist” even respond to my email? I have sent many emails out without ever getting a reply, but I was hoping this time would be different. Would Lindy West even consider traveling to Naperville to speak at the ANAD conference? I quickly found out that yes, she said YES! I could not believe how lucky we were and how hearing Lindy’s story would be a positive experience for all attending the conference.

Even though Lindy West has never suffered from an eating disorder, she was able to give amazing insight to how a fat person feels and how to stop the shaming of individuals based on their body size. Lindy was able to help us learn to love our bodies. As we age, we tend to gain weight, and I am no exception. But Lindy made me feel that my size is not what defines me. It was as if a light bulb went on in my head. I no longer had to feel shame and guilt because my over 50-year-old body was changing just as it is supposed to. After listening to Lindy and taking what she said to heart, I am more comfortable in my middle aged body, and I am embracing it! Lindy taught everyone in the audience to love their beautiful bodies regardless of shape or size! Thank you, Lindy!

I spent many months working on creating an exceptional 2016 conference and I believe that I successfully reached  this goal. Our keynote speaker, Dr. Michael Berrett, presented at our 2015 conference in one of our breakout sessions, and  received overwhelming reviews: his room was at capacity with individuals sitting on the floor just to hear him speak. I knew I needed to get Dr. Berrett to return and be our keynote speaker at Maria Deb and Zingerour conference this year. I always feel a bit anxious when I ask individuals to speak for fear that they will refuse, like everyone I do not like rejection, but Dr. Berrett was humbled that I would even ask him! I was so thrilled that he agreed to be our keynote speaker! Next, I tackled the spot for plenary.

I had read an article about the research Dr. Kelly Klump was doing at Michigan State University and again, I felt the need to have her share her research at our 2016 conference. But again, I was nervous to reach out to her. Never in my mind did I think a researcher at a big university would come and speak at our conference. Again, I was surprised! Dr. Klump was honored to be asked and would gladly accept! We were well on our way to the exceptional conference I had envisioned.

The remaining speakers fell into place once the call for proposals went out. ANAD has always been blessed to have individuals willing to give their time and knowledge to present at our conferences. This year was no exception and based on the feedback everyone attending wholeheartedly agreed. I wish to thank all of our speakers, exhibitors and attendees for without all of you the 2016 ANAD conference would not have been the success that it was. Thank you for attending and see you at our 2017 conference!

Deb Prinz, Director of Community Relations

BAD BMI

Why I Support the #StopBMI Campaign

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BY ALLISSA

When my professor made us measure our food intake on a website that counted my calories and only gave me the option to lose weight rather than maintain, I struggled. I pushed through mainly because I was hoping that the following week would not be as triggering. When she had us calculate our BMIs the next week, I drew the line and emailed her.

stop bmiI know exactly where I would stand on a BMI chart, and I also know that my BMI would not nearly tell the whole story. As the instructor of a basic health class, my professor had a lot to learn about how to properly teach this subject, if she should teach it at all. At the very least, a disclaimer should be involved. Beyond my class, though, this problem is still seeing little to no improvement. BMIs are still being used and taught by doctors and educational programs in everywhere from elementary schools to colleges like mine. Dr. Janet Tomiyama, a professor from UCLA, has heavily researched this topic. In her findings, she has discovered that BMI misclassifies approximately 75 million Americans as either healthy or unhealthy. She has also stated that many of those with BMIs that indicate that the person is overweight or obese, are in fact healthy. The facts are simple, BMI alone is not enough to determine health. Often it is seen as a simple tool to calculate a number, but for many of us it is much more.

The first time I can remember calculating my BMI was when I was 7 or 8. I remember finding a website on it and, very quickly, it became an obsession for me. I don’t consider that the start of my eating disorder, but that definitely set a solid foundation for it. Years went on and we calculated our BMIs year after year in school. What I wish I had known then was that my “overweight” BMI at age 7 had nothing to do with my overall health. I was an athlete who ate healthy and still had my baby fat. I was the strongest girl I knew and was proud of that. But this number told me that I was unhealthy. And I did not know that it was wrong. It led me to believe something was wrong with me, and thus the dieting began. It wasn’t until 5 years later that I would truly consider the start of my eating disorder, and 9 years after that here I am, fighting against the same thing that made me so insecure in the first place. 

The issue of BMI acting as a trigger unfortunately, is not only bound to me. Dr. Dianne Neumark-Sztainer, a professor at the University of Minnesota, has been able to link BMI testing in schools as a potential trigger for those susceptible to eating disorders. Many schools have implemented BMI “report cards” which are sent home and tell the parents what their next steps should be in regards to their child’s health. In her research, Dr.  Neumark-Sztainer has discussed elementary school BMI testing as sometimes being “early steps along the long and complicated road to an eating disorder.” There is no one way to develop an eating disorder, just as no two of us with an eating disorder are alike; however, it does make me wonder why, if BMIs have shown inaccurate and potentially triggering, that schools still use them without disclaimer.

BMI does not measure your body fat. It certainly does not let you know that your fat is there to nourish you and keep you energized. It does not measure your muscle which helps you dance and run and move your way through life. It cannot tell you about your intelligence nor your emotional strength nor all of the things you have gotten through to make it to this point. BMI cannot and will not mention how you look, how you live, or how much you are worth. And most importantly, it cannot accurately tell you about your overall health.

I wrote this email to my professor because as college students and most importantly as people, my classmates and I deserve better. My BMI does not explain nearly half the story. I will not allow my health and recovery to be compromised by a meaningless number. Do not let yours be either. #StopBMI

Footnotes

  1. Paddock, C., PhD. (2016, February 05). ‘Stop using BMI as measure of health,’ say researchers. Retrieved August 04, 2016, from http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/306129.php
  2. Arnold, C. (2016, March 14). The Youngest Casualties in the War on Obesity. Retrieved August 07, 2016, from https://psmag.com/the-youngest-casualties-in-the-war-on-obesity-70d66cd0b825#.vhfi9z78b

I Finally Decided that Anorexia and I Were Over

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By BRITT KELLEHER
Part One: Raisin Bran and Other Painful Things
Dinner comes late in the Kelleher household. With four children, my mother is a rather busy woman, and, frankly, remembering dinner’s daily occurrence isn’t her forte. This story begins on one of those late-dinner nights, and I was hungry — real hungry. The clock above the stove read seven, a time when one would expect the kitchen to be empty and dinner still stuffed in Whole Foods bags. But on this evening, I concluded that dinner’s nonexistent state was a sign that we were each to prepare our own meal.

And so I reached for a deep red ceramic bowl, poured myself a small serving of Raisin Bran, and walked out of the kitchen, spooning milk and cereal into my mouth.

“What are you doing?” my mother asked from her position on the couch. “We haven’t had dinner yet. I just ordered Thai.”

“Oh,” I responded, turning on my heel and walking back into the kitchen. “Well, I figured we were getting our own dinner. I don’t want any Thai. I already ate cereal,” I called over my shoulder, feeling my anxiety begin to rise.

“That little thing! Don’t be silly. You had two bites. You’re eating dinner.”

“I can’t eat, Mom. I already had dinner. I’m FULL!” I slammed the bowl into the sink, the ceramic shattering as it hit the aluminum surface. In a storm of anger, I flew down the back staircase to the basement, my fury swelling as I replayed the events in my head. Read More

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