ANAD

PinkBubble

Member

Registered: 2012-01-18

Posts: 9

Why Should I fight?

Today I am wondering, why should I fight? Why not just let go and at least have a peace of mind. But that doesn't feel good either.

I eat - I feel fat, maybe depressed or self-hatred. I don't eat - I feel weak, anxious and cannot do much.

Someone hear what I am going through...? I am half-way recovered, and would like to just stop here, worse lose again. Awful, huh! Where to go from here???

beba29

Member

Registered: 2012-01-23

Posts: 3

Re: Why Should I fight?

Hi, i was anorexic and bulimic once,now im recovered, i totally understand how you feel, you have to learn to love yourself,and in life everything that is worth it is never easy, but at the end you`ll see that fighting to recover from eating disorders is the best ,you`ll be finally happy , you will see how strong and brave you are by deciding on living rather than dye .

PinkBubble

Member

Registered: 2012-01-18

Posts: 9

Re: Why Should I fight?

Thank you so much for reaching out to me!
Even just reading that someone out there cares gives me hope and warms my heart. I want to recover. There are days when it feels doable, then come others when I just end up going back to restricting because I feel scared of the changes happening in my body.
How to find the courage to let the healthy weight come back on me?
How did you succeed in recovery?

Anyway, thank you so much!

beba29

Member

Registered: 2012-01-23

Posts: 3

Re: Why Should I fight?

actually has been a long way , dificult but i`ve survived , i guess the first step was admitting i need help ,after being diagnosed hypoglicemia(low blood sugar) ,and noticing how dangerous eating disorders are and what i have done to myself nothing but harm ,  i went to a pshychiatrist, because i`ve passed 15 years of my life struggling with eating disorders, so i was always depressed , i did all the assignments she told me , and tried to focus  on positive things and avoid all the bad habits with food, instead just do exercise for  fun and eat healthy food , learn to accept myself, and understand that  im not perfect and that actually being thin is not perfect ,also having supportive friends  beside you , focusing on other subjects not related to food or diets, that way you keep your mind away from obsession , i guess your mind is your biggest enemy with eating disorders , also whenever you hear comments at you from other people related to your body or weight just ignore them ,i have 1 year and 5 months since i havent starve or vomit or purge , and i feel extremely happy , and i feel healthy i have energy, i feel alive , not zombie anorexic or bulimic,its still hard sometimes because we always tend to be extremely judgemental with ourselves, but its time for you to stop being so hard on yourself, think of all the positive things you have accomplished in life,  and think about your future , erase the past mistakes and move on , forgive yourself , im still scared to be honest of having difficulties for getting pregnant, and also how im i going to feel when i do get pregnant and my body changes so much,  but i have decided to  keep fighting to be  healthy .hope these recovery story helps, anything you need to ask  i`ll gladly respond you ...:)

PinkBubble

Member

Registered: 2012-01-18

Posts: 9

Re: Why Should I fight?

Reading your story and words did help! Thank you:) I appreciate every word. They heal and give courage to go on fighting!

And look at you, now you can help others since you are further on the recovery road. How precious! I am determined after reading stories like yours that I am doing the right thing. I have been eating as I should for the past week or so, and today even had more food than what was comfortable for the AN mind, but good for the healthy mind, so I feel quite proud. Maybe I'll keep on having the courage to gain back the needed weight to live fully again.