Every day is such a struggle, it's hard to try and have an optimistic view when all you want to do is crawl under a rock, away from everything that causes you to hurt.
It's hard to battle something like an eating disorder when you don't feel it's ready to be fought. You want to lose that last bit of weight before you go to anyone for help, before you start promising people that you'll stop. But it's an addiction, too... That number will always change, will always get smaller because what you see in the mirror does not show the real results. It shows a person who is unable to see what is real, and instead only shows what the mind wants it to see.
It would be nice if people understood, too. That it's so much more than "changing your mindset." That's like saying that, even though your entire life you've been told 2+2=4, it now equals 5. You have to change everything you've ever known, you have to force yourself to think a completely different way then you ever have before. If it were that easy, would any of us be dealing with whatever problems we're dealing with today?
I know I'm not alone, it's nice to know, but at the same time it saddens me because I don't want anyone else to go through what I go through every day.
Is there a way to make this easier?
uncreativekirby, have you thought of volunteering? i always find that giving back to others helps put things into perspective for me. like understanding what they are going through, although different than me, still creates a sort of kinship. does that make sense? i hope it does... and if you volunteer, it will.
Maybe try going to a local support group. Some days are going to be a lot harder than others. Your thinking about food and how we connect it to our feelings will have to change but it is for the better. Nobody is saying that it will be easy but it will start to get easier as you learn how to be happy with yourself.