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#1 2012-01-16 12:00:57

Jennyflower83
Member
Registered: 2012-01-12
Posts: 16

Opinions of ya'll

Okay so I used remove my dinner if I ate dinner. Dinner is the only meal I eat. I have kept it down the past two days but it has to be just the right amount or I will feel I have to get it out. My husband thinks i still have a problem if all I want to eat is dinner and just the right amount for me to feel comfortable that it isn't too much. As long as I dnt remove there isn't anything really wrong, right? Yesterday though I munched on some snacks after a meeting and felt soo guilty. I told my husband to keep an eye on me. Then i even ate chocolate!! Ugh! That is just awful!! So today to make up for it I exercised twice as hard and I'm gonna try not to eat anything. If I can sneak it past my husband. But really, eating dinner and keeping it down is fine, right? I mean i am still eating. I want your honest opinion on if someone thinks that there really is something wrong with this logic.

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#2 2012-01-17 23:52:12

mollie89
Member
Registered: 2011-12-22
Posts: 16

Re: Opinions of ya'll

You keep reassuring yourself there is nothing wrong with eating only dinner. The fact that you have to ask lets me know that you know deep down that something is wrong. It doesn't matter what you eat. It matters how you FEEL when you eat, before and after. Do you feel nervous before, guilty after? Even if you ate the perfect meal, having these feelings indicates that something is wrong. You need to be honest with yourself if you want to get better. I'm sure your husband wants you to get better just as badly. You don't deserve to have to worry about food and meals and things like chocolate. Food is fuel, food is pleasure, food is part of life. When you suffer from ED it can be hard to coexist with it in peace, but you must. If your exercise is based on what you eat, that also says that you are suffering mentally. Exercise is about health and release and getting stronger. I know I sound harsh, but the first step is being honest with yourself and you must be willing to give up your obsession in order to get better.  I have been where you are, and I have been recovered for over 3 years. Trust me, there is a better life waiting for you.

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#3 2012-01-24 19:16:58

Jennyflower83
Member
Registered: 2012-01-12
Posts: 16

Re: Opinions of ya'll

You are right. I have come to terms with the fact that I have a problem for the most part. Now I am exercising for close to an hour every day! I make sure that I go to the gym and do a little 15 min workout at home. I confessed to a 12 step group I go to, my husband and a church leader my insane idea of how much amount in numbers. Then realized that there is hardley ANY food that has that number on it. If you get what I am talking about. How did you give up your obsession? That is what my problem is. I am starting to see different side effects but what was it that gave you a big enough desire to give up your obsession? I have 3 kids to live for and my husband is getting depressed cuz of my eating habits. I just feel stuck. I don't have a big enough desire yet. People keep commenting to me abt how I look so different and good. Sorry, anyway I just want to know how you got over it?

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