Hello. I have a cousin who has been to treatment for drug, love, and sex addictions. After she got treatment, she seemed to become stable, but then became obsessed with her weight. She would rapidly lose a lot of weight and look skeletal, then would binge eat and gain a bit of weight. Currently, she is extremely underweight and does not eat much at all, but constantly talks about how much food she eats, always takes pictures of food, cooks, and goes to restaurants. She usually will just look at the food and pick at it, but on occasion, she will binge and feel guilty and depressed about it. She is a very fragile person and it is difficult for me to bring up the fact that I do not feel her weight is healthy. I don't know if that would help or hinder her fragility. I have not said anything yet because I don't know what to say. Eating disorders are so confusing to me because I'm not sure what actually helps. I just know that I don't want to be an enabler. I want to help, but have no clue how to help. If you have any advice or comments, I would really appreciate them. Thank-you.
Is there another relative who can be helpful--like your parents, siblings, or her parents? It can be useful to bring up the ways this is affecting her on an emotional level instead of how she looks. Like, "I've noticed you have less energy/withdraw from family/seem more tired than usual" etc. You could talk about how she feels sad & guilty after eating, and just try to come from a place of concern instead of making accusations. Even if she is defensive or denies a problem, just letting the person know that people care & are there to support her will make a huge difference.
I also know ANAD's website has a whole guide on this topic called "How to Help Someone with an Eating Disorder" in the "Get Help" section. Maybe you could check that out for more ideas, too!